The Curse Funnel

I have wanted to make a post on this for years, but I've always held off because I wanted to make sure I'd been around long enough to speak with authority on it. Well, I've been practicing for almost 20 years now, so I think that's plenty of time to know what I'm talking about. So here we go: The Curse Funnel, or Am I Cursed? Probably Not.

I call this the curse funnel because it sounds catchy, and also because it follows similar principles to a common sales tactic called the Funnel. In the Funnel, you make a post talking about a free workshop or something, and ask for engagement. You can typically expect 25% of those who see it to engage. Of those, another 25% will sign up. Of those, another 25% will follow through with the free workshop for a paid service. Now, those numbers aren't exact because I don't use the funnel myself, but I do see a similar system play out in my newsletters. 25% of those sent are opened, 25% of those actually click to the website, and 25% of those actually make a sale. The difference here is, the curse funnel numbers are far more skewed than that. So let's get into it.

Of the people who come to me believing they are cursed, haunted, attacked, or otherwise interfered with by some form of maleficarum, 95% are wrong. They come in with "a spirit is bothering me", "my protection amulet broke for no reason", "it's nothing but bad luck for me", and more. But realistically.... If a spirit is bothering you, and you've had all these people try to get rid of it, and it won't go away... It isn't a spirit. You've essentially created a feedback loop where you are empowering a thoughtform. To get rid of it, stop viewing everything as an attack, acknowledge your own responsibility in the situation, and stop feeding into it. Do some basic cleansing, cord cutting, protection work, and while it might take a while, you'll recover. Your protection amulet broke? How long have you had it? How much passive negativity has it absorbed over the years? If you're not regularly cleansing it of the accumulated negativity, then of course it's going to fill up eventually, and simply stop working or outright shatter. It didn't stop a major hit, it stopped a whole lot of minor ones. Nothing but bad luck? This is usually a perspective problem. You may have had two or three bad days in a row, but you're ignoring the last six months where you really didn't have that bad of a time.

For the 95%, some mental discipline, basic cleansing, and routine protection will solve all of their problems if they let it. But what about the other 5%?

4% of people that come to me are experiencing an actual problem, but nothing too severe. Constant runs of bad luck, protection charms not lasting more than a month, insomnia, night terrors, etc. These only seem 'so bad' because they're actual manifestations of negativity. BUT you're still not being cursed. This is generally symptomatic of having upset a local spirit, or someone gifted sending some accidental negative energy your way because they were in a bad mood, or even simply being near the site of a baneful working or traumatic event. Offerings of appeasement, protection workings, and banishing tend to do the trick here.

Finally, the 1%. These are folks that are intentionally being targeted, and are exceedingly rare. There are many signs of this, but the most common ones are constantly losing jobs, repeated accidents and injuries, true night terrors, depression, anxiety, and so on. In these instances, a strategy needs to be built based on divination, but generally, repeated banishing, heavy protections, and deity offerings are the best way to get started.

"But Naag, my situation is different! Why are you out here acting like you know everything?" I don't, and I'm not. But I've been around the block a time or two, I know how things work. This post isn't going to make me popular, but it needs to be said: most folks simply aren't worth the effort for witches who are capable of such things to cast these curses. At best, most people deal with latent negativity around them and a precious few have somehow angered spirits. But nothing is so impossible to overcome unless it exists as part of your own thoughtform.

So, there. I said it. You can be angry with me, you can say that other witches haven't said anything like this, you may even decide not to shop with me anymore. But as long as you read through this, you can't say I didn't warn you.